near death experience

AP exams are comin up quick!
freakin euro scares the shitt outta me. i should get down & busy absorbing all the info starting like NOW. but i know im not until the very last possible second, and my brain would explode from the cramming and overloading on the 1000+ info. well at least i have george's ap book thing. irrevelant to the title, but it might as well kill me

the real story begins (warning: unnecessary info)
so last night, i went to stevens house with lauren and carrie to have real mexican burritos, they were huge! im suprised i finished. then we went to bella, haha lauren sat in the car seat X)

we watched 17 again with marian, doughie, vivian & tiffany. dude, the movie was amazing, i didnt expect it to be that good, and zac effron! dont get me started. i always thought he was insanely overrated, but he is so fucking hot. DAMN, and he can act. for reals. but that movie was soo hilarious and so ORGASMIC <3,,
me and lauren were hyperventalating. it was moving too, it made me tear, and a lot people cry, especially tiffany who was bawling.
we got mad cuz we wanted to sneak into Hannah Montana, but it wasnt on the same side, so we just stood there deciding what to do. then john came, and he didnt have a ticket or anything, so i went to go get him, but he ended up just walking in -___- he wasnt checked or anything! it was that easy.

well we all went out, and turns out everyone, and i mean EVERYONE was fucking there. it was annoying, i thought no one liked bella, but like everyone from FV was there. it was crazy. i wont drop names, but like that group, and this group, and druggies who freaking annoyed me with their smoking, and awkward group, and nerds, and a whole lotta asians.

OMG
so me and lauren went to buca to say hi to her mom and uncle. we got some free cake. on the way there, we j walked, cuz the street light was broken. i almost got ran over. and on the way BACK. we ran, and i was in my boots, and i slid about liek 6 feet, and as i was falling backwards, i somehow jumped foward on to the curb! it was amazing. it was hilarious. what an adreneline rush, and it felt good. ahah my animal instincts saved my life.

then while we were trying to figure out what movie to see, matt was being a retard and kalani was there. i went to johnny rockets then came back to see if a decision was made. so marian vivan and john bought hannah montana tickets. they were supposed to sneak me in. but they didnt, so i just walked in (: hahah it was cool.
&& hannah montana was way better than i expected, marian cried. aha. and people got up and did the hoedwon, we clapped like a concert, and i took out the lighter on my itouch and started waving it (: the principal in 17 again (kinky dork lady ahah) was mileys dads love interest! whoaa

our group had split up cuz matt drove them to nickel nickel, but tiffany came back to us. and we chilled at starbucks. then i went to her house and had meaningful conversations.

more ramblingg
i thought i was over it. seriously. i wasnt that into it to begin with, and believe me, i didnt want to. at all. but for it to have this much of an impact, i cant deny it. i cant do anything. its not mine. and i want its happiness. i wanna know ive grown, and am not subconsciously sabatoging it, as i think i kinda am. D: i know im better than that, i have self control. i hope. please. im starting to doubt it though. ive already done it before. but i cant resist, i cant help it. im a bad person. but im going to try my damn hardest not to do anything. omg, why am i freaking out about this? it doesnt matter taht much to mee. whyy?!? make it stop!
only those who really knows whtas going on understand that.